Seafarer Chaplain
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Always a good read
Smarter than me.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from living with a dog it’s this: my dog is a better judge of character than me.
You can tell me all your stories and put up a big front. You might seem like a cool guy. But in the end, if my dog doesn’t like you, it’s a good sign I probably won’t like you either.
You might fool me, but you can’t fool my dog.
(No wonder they call him “man’s best friend.”)
Sailor’s Bucket List
The phrase “Bucket List” was popularized by the 2007 film “Bucket List,” staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Two older gentlemen with terminal cancer made a list of things they wanted to do before they “kicked the bucket.”
What’s on your sailor’s bucket list to see or sail through before you retire? Here are some suggestions.
Architectural:
□ Golden Gate Bridge — San Francisco, California, USA
□ Sydney Harbour Bridge and Sydney Opera House — Sydney, Australia
□ Statue of Liberty — New York, New York and Newark, New Jersey, USA
□ Christ the Redeemer Statue — Guanabara Bay, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
□ Cristo Rei Christ Statue — Lisbon, Portugal
Man-made and historical:
□ Suez Canal — Egypt
□ Panama Canal — Panama
□ Victoria Harbour — Hong Kong, China
□ Tokyo Bay — Tokyo, Japan
Geographic:
□ Strait of Gibraltar — Between Spain and Morocco
□ English Channel — Between England and France
□ Drake Passage/Cape Horn — Between Chile/Argentina and
Antarctica
□ Cape of Good Hope — South Africa
□ The Great Lakes — Center of North America via Canada’s St. Lawrence Seaway.
□ The Bosporus and Dardanelles Straits from the Med to the Black Sea (Turkey)
Unique:
□ Around the world — Connect segments sailed by direction to create an east or west ‘round the world trip. Sign on to a ship chartered to sail ‘round the world.
Looking ahead:
□ Northwest Passage — Between Eastern North America/Western Europe and East Asia along the north coast of Alaska and the Canadian Arctic.
□ Northeast Passage — Between Europe and East Asia along the Russian coast.
What’s on your sailing bucket list?
Sometimes when I go through the coffee shop drive thru, I look in the rear view mirror and decide to pay for the customer behind me. Imagine their surprise when the barista says, “No charge, that guy ahead of you paid for it.”
I’ve noticed something about their responses as they drive away. Often the guy in the expensive car will just drive on. No headlight flicks. No wave. Random kindness means little.
But the scruffy guy in the old car will race to catch up with me and give a big smile and thumbs up. Kindness is appreciated.
I’ve learned to choose my kindness based on the car and the people inside.
BUT WAIT! THAT'S WRONG! I’m totally judging them on appearance.
Maybe that happy guy in the old car is a lazy con man who always hits up people for five bucks. He’s not thankful – he’s laughing at me.
And maybe that guy in the new car is worried sick about the downturn of his company, worried his daughter’s in with the wrong crowd, and his dad just died. And my tender feelings are hurt cuz he ignored me.
Appearances can be all wrong.
Some guys join the ship thinking they are the poster boy of success. They’re upbeat, have new clothes and the latest gadgets. They are career driven and immediately popular.
Others come with the same stuff they had on their last ship. They go to their quarters unnoticed and unpack. Their smartphone still has a cracked screen. They’re quiet and hope to leave the sea once they get ahead.
Well, that’s what we think. We make snap judgments based on their appearance and our silent prejudices. But maybe we’re all wrong. Maybe Mr. Cool puts up a front to hide his insecurity. Maybe beneath Shy Guy’s quietness is a wealth of wisdom and true friendship.
Jesus wasn’t fooled by people’s façade. He loved the man behind the words and face. He saw a person that needed the love and forgiveness He would soon offer from the cross. In the meantime, He helped them see their spiritual need and pointed them toward faith in Him and the grace and mercy of the Father.
We must do the same. We must look beyond first appearances and see the true character of others. We need to strive to follow Jesus’ example and command to “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another.” (St. John 13:34)
Getting to know people can be tough. Loving them once you know them can be even tougher. But that’s what Jesus called us to do. And if we do it with a pure attitude, it’s a sign that He is helping us become the person He wants us to be.
“Dear Lord, help me to look beyond people’s appearance to see their needs. You loved me and my faults. Help me to love them and point them to You so they might find your forgiveness, peace and hope. Amen”
When is it okay to move away from a toxic marriage?
Note: This is not family counseling. Seek trusted, certified counsel.
Marriages can go terribly bad. You’re tempted to leave. But should you?
Here are the “Three A’s” you should not live with. You need to physically distance yourself from that person. Get the children out as well. I’m not talking about divorce. I’m talking about you getting out of harm’s way.
A#1. Abuse. Husband abuse. Wives can use physical violence, harsh threats intended to control you through fear, and mental abuse and ridicule to destroy your self-worth. Leave the house. If there are children, get them out.
A#2. Addiction. Illicit drugs, alcohol. Staying only enables her. Get yourself and the kids out. (Plus, it is dangerous. She’s involved with bad people.) Let her know you’re not abandoning her. Encourage her to get treatment.
A#3. Adultery. Adultery is devastating and complex. Leaving avoids argument and aggressive confrontation. Remain faithful. Don’t say, “If she does it I can too.” Whatever her reason, whatever she blames on you, however this ends (if it ever does), you remain above reproach and faithful.
Getting out. Leaving can be hard to do. You feel like you’re abandoning your family. Some people will criticize and blame you—as if it’s your fault and you are the bad guy. And then, in the midst of this, you have to go back to sea.
But consider the potential physical and emotional damage. If there are children, these Three A’s leave images and words burned into their memory.
Is there hope? Yes. Proverbs 15:29 says, “The LORD is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous.”
First, live and act right. Honor your wedding vows. I repeat, honor your wedding vows. Keep an attitude of respectful love. The apostle Paul wrote, “…each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:33)
Second, seek wise and qualified counsel, not your buddies who are on your side. Work hard for healing and restoration. If she refuses to cooperate or demands to leave, let her leave. Let her take the blame and wear the stain. (Even so, some people will always believe you were the bad guy.)
Third, pray for God’s direction and healing in your heart. Pray for an attitude of love. Reject harsh words and hate. Trust God that no matter what she does, He will comfort you and give you peace in the midst of the storm.
Bible Study
What will be your legacy?
“There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job. And this man was blameless and upright, fearing God and shunning evil.” Job 1:1
What will be your legacy? How will you be remembered? People might forget you were a seafarer, but they will never forget your character, integrity and morality, and that you were kind, fair and loving of all people.
In the Bible we read about a man named Job (pronounced Jōbe). We don’t know a lot about him. He lived in a place called Uz (in present day Jordan) at the time of the great Bible patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Job was extremely rich. He owned thousands of sheep, camel, oxen and donkeys, and had many servants. He had 10 kids. He had it made.
The Bible tells us four things about Job. The first two are about his relationship with people. He was blameless. His heart and intentions were sincere. His affections were pure. Women felt morally safe around him. He conducted business correctly and with integrity. No under-the-table dealings. No false record keeping. No favoritism.
He was upright. This word means “exact” and “regular.” He did not deviate from doing what was right. He could be depended on. His word was his word. He was honest.
The second two are about his relationship with God. He feared God. In the Bible, fearing God means being devoted to Him with massive respect for His immense holiness, power and justice. But it also means knowing God as personal friend, comforter and protector. We fear the ocean for its unstoppable power over us, but we also know it as our beautiful friend.
And he shunned evil. Job knew right from wrong. He turned and walked away from it the moment it appeared. And he recognized sin and wrong situations up ahead and would deliberately turn away ahead of time.
What will be your legacy as you grow older? How will family and friends remember you after you pass? Maybe you need to get serious with God and start making basic life-changes today. True change begins by sincerely believing in Jesus as your Savior and Lord. With God’s help, become a man forever honored for blamelessness, integrity, Godliness and purity.
God, lead me to be a man who is blameless, has integrity, fears you and turns away from sin and evil. Lead me into righteous living. Amen.
Is it time to go home for good?
Why are you at sea? Money? Getting away from the ex? Travel and adventure? The joy of responsibility and comradeship? The maritime industry?
Here’s a bigger question: “Is seafaring a job or a career?” There’s a big difference.
Commitment and Satisfaction
A “job” gives little personal commitment or satisfaction. It’s a job. That’s it. I wish I could tell you how many seafarers have said to me, “I’m only here to provide for my family.”
That’s a noble reason, but they’re killing themselves on the inside, and they know it. Their wife knows it, too. And the kids can sense it, especially when you tell them never to be a seafarer.
A career is commitment. Signing on is an opportunity. It has a life-purpose. It doesn’t matter if you’re an officer or rated, there’s a feeling of ownership. “This is my ship.” “This is my engine room.” “This is my galley.”
A career seeks advancement, not only a better salary, but also satisfaction, personal growth, and responsibility. “I get it done, and I get it done right.”
A career finds satisfaction in moving people or cargo with speed, efficiency, safety, and crew harmony. Careers sacrifice a few weeks of vacation to study for exams. This ultimately leads to higher ranks or ratings, and of course, the satisfaction of providing more for your family.
Attitude
What is your attitude toward seafaring? Attitude affects everything we do. St. Paul advised, “Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being, for the Lord and not for men….” (Colossians 3:23)
If you are a Jesus-follower, work for others as if you are working for the Lord. People of sincere faith need to do their best. Quality work honours Christ.
Yes, some supervisors are hard to work for. If you could walk on water, you would walk away. If your work is just a job, you’ll become angry and always be looking for another job.
If seafaring is your career, you know supervisors aren’t hired for their sweet disposition. They’re hired to move cargo, even if they hurt your tender feelings. Plus, they’ll eventually sign off...and so will you.
Brush off the difficulties. Don’t take the harsh words personal unless you deserve it! Learn from every experience — good or bad, then put experience to practice. Look ahead. The reward is great to those who persevere.
Time to go home for good?
If it’s a job, then maybe it’s time to go ashore or sail with the local brown water fleet. But don’t leave with bitterness and broken relationships. “Leaving the sea” should be proactive, not reactionary.
Begin with prayer and seek God’s guidance.
Make peace with your work situation and crew mates.
Seek wise counsel.
Pursue what truly interests you but count the cost both to family and wallet.
Find consensus and blessing from your family—especially your wife!
Plan, prepare and pray some more.
Then act with confidence. Otherwise, your next job will be just another job, and you’ll still be unhappy.
And one last thing, when you go, go quietly. Leave with your crewmates best wishes and a positive captain’s report. You never know when you may need to go back to sea, and suddenly find yourself supervised by one of your old crewmates!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
© Can Stock Photo / photography33
there's always something I can learn from him.
When my four kids started taking jobs, they all complained about their boss. But I said, “Well, now you know how not to treat others when you’re put in charge.”
Everyone can teach you something. Your bitter, hard drinking, womanizing supervisor may be an expert in his work. Learn from his experience. Or he may be a kind, faithful father and husband. Watch him, especially when he’s under pressure. Learn life from him. All men will teach you something you need to know.
35 years ago, I received some advice that has served me well.
“Make friends with people 10 years younger than you;
make friends with people 10 years older than you.”
We need the true friendship of guys 10 years younger than us. Young guys keep us young and active in mind and body. They pass on their enthusiasm and optimism for life — something we may have lost.
And as we get older, we begin to resist change, especially social and technical change. Younger guys help us accept and keep up with changes.
And we need shaping from men 10 years older than us. We’re going to be walking in their shoes sooner than we think! How do they handle moral and ethical temptation, career setbacks, children leaving home, life-changing illness or the passing of a spouse? How do they deal with retirement from the sea? What legacy are they leaving? How do they maintain their faith in God?
Choose men of honor. Don’t waste your time with young idiots. Join in with men of sound character and faith, men you respect and who respect you. Choose men who you would like your sons to model their lives after.
Choose older men who are true gentlemen. Avoid grumpy old men. Model your life after men who are young at heart and lifelong learners, men of high moral character and integrity, men who are absolutely faithful to their wife and God. It’s easy to find old, broken men. You’ve sailed with them. Good men are hard to find.
Of course, it works both ways. Younger men need to see how we handle faith, family and career. And older men need us to help keep them young.
Over the years I’ve modeled my life after two older men. The last one recently passed away. They’ve set me in good stead for the next ten years.
Follow this advice for the rest of your life and you will not be disappointed.
Wisdom is found with the elderly, and understanding comes with long life. (Job 12:12)
Let no one despise your youth; instead, you should be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)
Five Years to Live
This is Chaplain Phil, and this is my story.
I asked my doctor, “What is my prognosis?”
He said, “You’ll feel good for maybe three years. Then the cancer will go from your prostate to your shoulder bone. Then you have about two years.”
Five years to live – unless I did something now.
Backstory. In 2014 my doctor ordered a PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) test. It was 4.6. Not good. A biopsy confirmed I had prostate cancer.
Every 6 months I had a PSA test. A significant rise would signal treatment.
That significant rise came in the summer of 2021. My PSA soared to 16. A new biopsy had a worrisome Gleason Score. The doc said, “it’s time to act.” That’s when I asked, “If I do nothing, what is my prognosis?”
I chose to receive radiation treatment. My latest PSA test was 0.10.
Here’s the scary thing. I had no symptoms, yet cancer was silently killing me. By 2025 I would hear those dreaded words, “Bone cancer...maybe two years to live.” Not again! I lost my wife to bone cancer in 2018.
It still baffles me. I had no symptoms. But in five years I’d be dead.
(BTW...have you checked your PSA lately?)
It’s the same with our relationship with God. We can go through life and totally ignore Him. We can live self-centered lives and practice immorality, dishonesty, theft, hate, pride — not realizing its silently killing us spiritually.
Then it’s too late. Whether by tragedy or aging, we stand face to face with God. All our life we had hoped our good deeds or the words we recited in religious classes would get us into heaven. But God the Honest Judge is aware of all we’ve done and what we sincerely believed about His forgiveness. Without personally believing that God can forgive our wrongdoings, we will be judged and will have to pay a fair penalty for our sin. That penalty is being exiled to misery and separation from God.
Let’s not focus on God’s judgment, but on His love. He knew we couldn’t do enough good deeds or recite prayers to pay our own penalty for sin and enter heaven. So He made a work-around. He sent His Son to earth in human flesh. His name was Jesus.
Jesus willingly paid our penalty for our sin by suffering and dying on the cross. And if we sincerely believe that that’s what He did, when our day comes, we will have immediate eternal life in heaven.
For God so loved the world that He gave the only begotten Son, so that everyone believing in Him should not perish, but should have eternal life. John 3:16
Do you have a grumpy grandpa? Well, this is your grumpy grandpa speaking.
“You work eight hours...three hours for eating and socializing. And then what? You spend hours alone in your cabin on that stupid screen. Your brain is turning to mush!”
Okay, lecture’s over. But there’s some truth to what Grumpy Grandpa said.
“That’s all we do.” I ask seafarers, “What do you do besides watch movies and play video games?” The overwhelming answer is, “Nothing.”
I’m not against screen time. Wholesome movies and challenging video games help us escape our daily routine. We need that. But too much of anything has consequences.
“There’s nothing else to do.” You have 10 to 12 hours for relaxation and sleep. That time can be lost or leveraged.
The negative effect of video games is well documented. Excessive gaming can lead to social withdrawal and isolating yourself in your cabin. The screen’s blue light suppresses the production of melatonin, causing insomnia. Depression, aggression and anxiety are gaming side effects that affect your attitude and relationships.
As for movies, what are you watching? It’s no secret that movie producers are dumbing down movies to extreme special effects, noise and violence with ridiculous storylines. Medically, this effects your brain’s neurons, which then effects your thinking patterns, emotions, actions and reactions. And if you are into porn, you already know that’s not good for you. Right?
So, Grandpa wasn’t too far wrong about your brain turning to mush. Too much movie and game time is dangerous. They can become like slow-moving, mind-altering drugs that put your mind in neutral and messes with it.
Man up; break away; do something else. Are you becoming more angry, depressed, or aggressive over little things? Has someone pointed that out you? Maybe it’s your reaction to the tension and violence you’re continually absorbing from your screen. Man up and deal with it.
Find a healthful balance between screen time and other activities. Read. Draw. Guitar. Write. Personal Bible study. Take up photography or embroidery. Work out. Study for career advancement or a new career on shore. Start a Bible study group.
St. Paul wrote, “Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
Are your movies and games building you up – or turning your brain into mush?
A story from India
The thumb and first three fingers were arguing over which of them was the most important.
THE THUMB SAID, “Obviously, I am the most important.
I have authority. I approve or disapprove.
I signal START or STOP. I determine life or death.
And when the fist crashes down, you will be smashed but I still stand.”
THE INDEX FINGER SAID, “Nonsense. Power is wisdom.
I stand up, and the crowds go silent and listen.
I tell people to come or go, sit or rise.
I sort things left and right and count them out.
And never forget, I am forever ‘Number 1.’”
THE MIDDLE FINGER BOASTED, “I’m the strongest. Only the strong survive.
I am the tallest and am protected by two servants at my left and right.
I tap the table and people turn, knock on a door and people come.
And when I stand alone, I can threaten, bully, insult, and shame!”
THE RING FINGER SMUGLY SAID, “I’m rich and I control people.
I wear precious metals and gems I gained from others.
I hear the rich and the poor plead for my wealth—they are so pathetic.
I lure people to do things they will forever regret—and I don’t care.
And when I stand up everyone adores me.”
THEN THE LITTLE FINGER QUIETLY SAID, “I am the weakest of us all.
I have no authority.
I speak wisdom but no one pays attention.
I am the symbol of weakness, with few to protect me.
I wear no wealth.
“But when I stand to pray, I stand closest to God.
He is my authority, wisdom, strength, protection, and wealth.
I understand Him and know Him.
I am dearly loved by Him and know He will do what is right for me.”
Seafarer, you may feel like you are small and insignificant.
You don’t have authority, wisdom, strength, or wealth.
You’re shunned because of your nationality, race, or faith.
But when you pray with a true, humble heart you stand closest to God.
And when you stand close to God,
you are greater than all the others.
Jeremiah 9:23-24
This is what the LORD says:
“Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom,
nor the strong man in his strength,
nor the wealthy man in his riches.
But let him who boasts boast in this,
that he understands and knows Me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises
loving devotion, justice, and righteousness on the earth—
for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD.
