Seafarer Chaplain
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Career Decision
The family was seated around the dinner table. Mom had made a beautiful meal as always and everyone was full and happy.
Then their 18-year-old son said, “Father, I have made my career decision.”
His dad beamed. He had been waiting for this for a long time.
“What’s that, my son,” he said with anticipation. “I know you have made a good choice that will make us proud.”
“I’m going to become an Air Force pilot,” he said.
Everyone was in shock. His dad burst out, “What! Why, my son. We are a seafaring family.
"I was a Navy officer. Your uncle is a Navy officer. Your grandfather was a ship captain. Your great-grandfather was an admiral. Oh, my son, this is too much to bear! Why! Why! Why! Why would you disappoint our family and join the Air Force?”
“Well, Father,” he explained. “I considered that. But as they say,
‘What goes up must come down.
But what goes down seldom comes back up.”
You’re sad for me because I have to go away from home.
But as a seafarer, I’ve been to places you’ll never hear of.
I’ve seen the wonders of the world you only read about.
I’ve sailed through the waters where great sea battles were fought.
I’ve walked where world history has changed course.
I’ve stood where world leaders have stood.
I’ve visited the palaces of kings.
I’ve seen poverty far worse than you can imagine.
I’ve been stunned by the handiwork of God on land, sea and sky.
I’ve walked around ancient landmarks in ancient lands.
I’ve seen the world’s greatest paintings and sculptures.
I’ve been blessed by total strangers who ask nothing in return.
I’ve learned to work with all people because we have a ship to sail.
I’ve made friends with people from every continent.
I’ve eaten food from around the world.
I’ve been to the holy places of the world’s great religions.
I’ve learned that loneliness and fear are not my masters.
I’ve felt God’s hand on my shoulder as I’ve looked death square in the eye.
I’ve prayed and God stopped the ocean’s rage.
Truthfully…
I’m sad for you because you’ve
never been away from home.
(A true story told by my son in the construction business.)
His boss had to fire a young employee. The guy would show up late or not at all. Lazy on the job.
Then his mom came to the worksite.
“Why did you fire my son?”
Boss: “Ma’am, you don’t want to know.”
Mom: “Yes I do.”
Boss: “No, you don’t.”
Mom: “Tell me,” she demanded.
The boss was a building contractor, not a family counselor. Blunt and to the point. But he understood character.
“Okay, I fired him because of you. You taught him his values.
“You chose to be a single mom. Nothing against single moms, but you hated men and chose not to give him a father figure.
“You didn’t demand he be at school every day and on time.
“You didn’t give him responsibilities at home.
“You let him play video games all night.
“You didn’t question who he hung around with.
“You covered for him when he screwed up. He’s a big boy now and you’re here trying to save his butt.
“Lady, why did I fire him? Because of you.
“I told you, you wouldn’t want to know.”
Gentlemen, when it comes to raising kids, don't go moaning “That’s the life of a seafarer.” That doesn’t cut it.
This is the age of Internet and Facetime. You have no excuse not to be there for them. I’ve seen dads put their kids to bed over Facetime.
And it’s always been the age of love, prayer and setting an example. I’ve met fantastic seafarer dads who are better dads than fathers who are home every day. I know a Second Mate whose son is a competitive mountain biker. When he goes home, he spends his vacation on his own bike pushing his son’s speeds. That’s parenting.
Men, you gotta stay on top of this. Stay firm. Set an example of honesty and integrity, then demand it.
And stand behind your wife. You can say, “Goodnight,” but she has to deal with tantrums and resistance 24/7.
Your vacation time isn’t your free time. You brought these kids into the world, they’re your responsibility. Teach them life and work values and build a relationship so they will listen to what they don’t want to hear. Be special to each one of them in their own special way.
The same goes for “faith.” What if you asked God why your kids turned from the faith, and He said, “Because of you.”?
Jesus said there will be things that will cause people to sin, but anguish and affliction [will come] to the person who causes…a little one to sin. (Luke 17:1-2)
There’s no magic formula for good kids. They need lots of sincere love, patience, encouragement and praise. Be a consistent example of manhood and fatherhood. Show them your captain’s report for good work. Don’t let them bully you with, “But Dad, everyone else….”
There’s no perfect method for raising good kids. And they have to take responsibility too. Pray you’ll be a godly dad. Pray for your kids and their mom. With God’s leading, you do your part, and hopefully they’ll turn out okay.
“God, give me the wisdom and strength to raise my kids to be responsible adults, and faithful to You, Amen.”
“Our Prayers Are Not Working for Us”
I once visited a retired captain at his home in Karachi, Pakistan. His name was William Bhatti and he told me this story.
This happened to me many years ago. We were sailing southward out of the English Channel.
By the time we were off the coast of Portugal we entered the worst storm I ever encountered. The seas were very heavy. The waves were breaking on our mast. All we could do was hold on and ride it out.
Finally, some men came to me and demanded, “Captain, you must send out an SOS.”
“I can’t do that,” I said. “The ship is not in danger of breaking. If I send out an SOS and there is no need for it, we will be fined.”
The men pleaded with me, “But we are in grave danger. You must send out an SOS!”
I said, “Listen. You men pray five times a day. Surely God must answer you.”
“But Captain,” they replied, “our prayers are not working for us.”
“Then join together and pray as one,” I said. “You go and pray that God will save our ship” I replied. But they didn’t respond favourably to my idea.
Finally, I said, “Let us each pray for 24 more hours. You pray. I am a Christian and I will also pray. If the storm is still beating us after 24 hours, then I will send out an SOS.”
“But if the ship breaks apart, we will die!” they replied.
“Yes, and I will die too,” I answered.
The men left. Later they came back again and tried to force me to send an SOS.
I did not send the message. The storm eventually died down, the ship held together, and we were safe.
The cause of their fear was that they felt helpless, and that God would not listen to their prayers.
And that is my story.
- - - - -
The men who came to the captain were afraid. They prayed religiously five times a day. But when they were in real trouble, they did not believe God would answer their prayer for safety.
The truth is they had no personal relationship with God. They went through the motions and form of religion. They recited words they had recited all their life, but they did not know God as a friend and protector. Their prayers never went beyond their lips.
We should examine our prayers as well. Do we just pray the same thing over and over? Do we repeat phrases we were taught as children and expect them to be heard?
Jesus said, “When you pray, do not babble on like pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard.” (St. Matthew 6:7) Those crewmen already knew their repetitious prayers wouldn’t be heard. Why do we think our reciting of the same prayer over and over will be heard?
Talk with God from your heart. Talk with Him like you would a trusted friend or your spouse.
That’s prayer.
The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail.
James 5:16
“If You Really Knew Me You Wouldn’t Like Me.”
All of us struggle with thoughts that are less than righteous. Racial and social prejudices, arrogance, smoldering resentments and anger, immoral fantasies, unloving, crude humor, ponderings of infidelity or theft…and so much more. If people really knew our thoughts, they wouldn’t like us.
Jesus said these thoughts come from within the heart and pollute us. (St. Mark 7:23) Returning to them again and again trains our mind to accept and normalize them.
Okay. We’re human. We’re going to think these things. What’s important is our response.
1. Recognize it as “stinkin’ thinkin’.”
2. Deliberately turn away from it.
3. Confess it on the spot.
4. Strive to “get rid of it.” (Ephesians 4:31).
5. Ask God to retrain your mind to His thinking. (Romans 12:1-2)
Wrong thoughts will return. Man up. Keep beating them back. You don’t need this junk floating around in your head. Be the same person – inside and out.
Dear Jesus, Clean this junk out of my mind. Help me to be the godly man you want me to be. Amen
What is God like?
I am the LORD who practices lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on the earth, for in these things I delight,” says the LORD.
Jeremiah 9:24
Sometimes we meet people who seem nice and friendly. We build a friendship with them, but then discover who they really are. We dread all that time and emotion we wasted on them. We feel tricked and deeply hurt by their dishonesty and charades.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know who people really are before we put our trust in them? What if they told us up front in honest, simple terms?
God wants to be our friend and Lord. That’s why He is up front about who He is. He describes Himself in three honest simple terms in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah. He says:
“I am the LORD who practices lovingkindness, justice and righteousness.”
Lovingkindness: God should be totally mad at us because of our sin. Instead, He says He is kind. Not just nice kind or “I pity you” kind, but sincere, unconditional and faithful kind. Don’t forget, He loved us enough to sacrifice His Son on the cross for us to give us eternal life.
Justice: God is not some absent-minded grandpa in the clouds. He has declared His favor and help for the homeless, poor and oppressed, and His anger toward wrong-doers. He cares for the weak and helpless and will punish their oppressors in this life and the next.
Righteousness: God is pure and holy. He always does what is right. His moral commands never change. He never turns a blind eye to sin. His future judgment on each of us will be right, perfect and just.
The Bible is the story of God’s dealings with humankind. When we read and study the Bible, we can safely measure everything He does by these three, unchanging qualities: He deeply loves us. He is perfect in His justice. He is pure and holy in everything He does.
“Father God, thank you for being exactly who You say You are. Amen."
“I BUST MY BUTT OUT HERE.
I send money home, but my dad spends it on his mistress.”
“My father made me become a seafarer. He said, “You're my retirement plan.” I hate it out here.”
“My parents sent me to boarding academy. Their careers were more important than me.”
You’ve heard guys say things like that. Even though the Holy Bible says, “Honor your father and mother,” and you will be blessed in the future (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16), many people stay bitter toward their parents for their entire adult life.
Honoring parents is a cornerstone of great cultures and religions. But how do you honor parents who have caused private pain?
A Jewish writer said, “My father gave me life; my mother gave me flesh.” Cursing our parents is cursing our own existence.
Honoring parents is more than actions. It’s an attitude. Resentful sons and daughters will do "proper" actions and say "proper" words to cover their bitterness. They look good on the outside but that’s not honor and respect.
Respect looks beyond (but doesn’t ignore) past hurts. It remembers that your parents are flawed just as you are. Respect says, “You are my parents. You don’t understand how much you hurt me. I want to forgive you. I wish you no harm. And if you ever truly need me, I will come from the other side of the world – unconditionally and with no questions asked.”
God’s love is like that. Even though we have hurt and dishonored Him, His unconditional and forgiving love is there. It is a gift waiting to be received with no questions asked. God wishes us no harm.
If you truly want to follow Jesus, your greatest challenge may begin with your parents.
Pray that God will give you true love for them. Forgive them in your heart. Pray for them. Pray that you will not grow bitter and resentful. If you can find peace toward them, you will be able to make peace with others as well. Personal peace affects your physical body and mental outlook.
Plus, your kids are watching. Attitudes are stronger than actions. They will genuinely respect you if you genuinely honor your parents.
God simply says, “Honor your father and mother.” Why? Because it is the pathway to blessing and long life.
So, You’re Ready to Get Married
Listen up…think twice about who you marry.
I visited a container vessel in Vancouver, Canada and met a very pleasant, older lady in the dayroom. She was from Germany. She said, “My husband is Chief Engineer, and I’m sailing with him.”
The Chief came in. “This is my last sailing,” he said. “When we get back to Europe, I retire. I wanted my wife to join me on my last voyage.
“We have been a team during my whole career. We have worked together. I earned the money; she took care of the home and the kids. We decided everything together. And now we retire together. It’s been a good life.”
The Bible says,
“She opens her mouth with wisdom.
She watches over the affairs of her household.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband praises her as well.
“Many women have done noble things, but you surpass them all!”” Proverbs 31:26-29.
Who you marry will make or break your career. She will encourage you or gripe non-stop. Support you or undercut you; teach your kids they have the best dad in the world – or the worst. She can make every day at sea heaven or hell.
Marry carefully!
“How do I become a true Christian?”
Do you know this Bible verse: John 3:16? It says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Let me explain.
“For God so loved the world…” This means everyone. We are not a lucky mix of billions of years of genetic trial and error. Instead, we are His special handiwork, wonderfully created to love and worship Him and live in His presence.
But we have turned from Him. As a result, we are separated from His special care in this life and condemned to a spiritual death of fear and misery after we pass.
But He still loved us and wanted us back. Because of our sin, we weren’t qualified to come back by our own efforts, therefore…
“He gave His one and only Son,” Jesus Christ. God joined Himself with humanity as the man Jesus. As they say, “100% God and 100% man.” God said, “I will give My Son Jesus to die on the cross. He will suffer the penalty every person deserves for their sin. They can be forgiven.” But how?
“…everyone who believes in Him…” This means we put complete faith and trust in Christ alone. Not in our church, not in our good deeds or pious devotion, but totally in God’s grace and love for us. And the result?
We “shall not perish but have eternal life.” The punishment we deserve is removed. We are granted eternal life the moment we believe. We receive His special care and comfort in this life and we will pass on to eternal life with Him in the next life at death.
Father God, thank you for loving me when I disobeyed You. Thank you for giving your Son, Jesus, to take the penalty for my sin. I believe He died for me. Forgive me. Give me your peace, hope and joy. Change me to be the person You want me to be. And lead me to eternal life with You. Amen.
Years ago, I heard a story like this.
A man had a young son. They loved each other very much.
One snowy evening the man got upset about something. He put on his coat and said to his wife, “I’m going down to the bar and get drunk.”
He went out into the snowy street and started walking to the bar.
After a minute of walking, he heard a young voice calling behind him. “Don’t take such big steps, Dad! I’m trying to follow your footprints.”
You are a seafarer. You are a hero to your kids. Kids follow heroes. They believe that whatever you do is okay.
Kids pick up more from us than we think. They are amazingly observant. Your actions and attitudes are stronger than your words (unless you are verbally abusive).
They will learn how to treat women by the way you treat their mother. You can be on the other side of the world, yet if you are cheating on your wife, they will eventually sense it.
They will mimic your attitudes about gambling, alcohol, drugs, authority, work, government, kindness, honesty, generosity, the value of education, racial and economic prejudice and so much more. And don’t scold them if they use your foul language.
And they will accept your opinion and belief about God. If you tell them to believe and trust in God, and to pray and read their Bible, you better set a true and sincere example.
ALWAYS REMEMBER…
YOUR KIDS ARE FOLLOWING IN YOUR STEPS,
even if you are on the other side of the world.
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
In everything, show yourself to be an example by doing good works. In your teaching show integrity, dignity, and wholesome speech that is above reproach….Titus 2:7, 8a
If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Matthew 18:6
