“I’ll be home(sick) for Christmas.”
That’s the title of a famous Christmas song (sorta). Homesickness happens to everyone in every culture. Thousands of years ago a homesick Jewish captive living in Babylon wrote Psalm 137:1, “By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.”
Homesickness happens when you are lonely or uncomfortable and insecure about where you are. You find comfort in memories of the people and places we’re lovingly attached to. You wish for familiar voices, sounds and smells, and your big chair in the corner.
Homesickness for seafarers is unique. On holidays, everyone is homesick. But when you sign on, you’re alone. (That’s why “sign-on homesickness” is hard. You want stability, predictability and safety, but every time you sign on, things are suddenly unfamiliar and uncertain. The first month is the roughest.)
“I’ll be home(sick) for Christmas.” Christmas brings together memories of everything familiar…of laughter, Mom’s cooking, Uncle’s boring stories and the Nativity. Oh, to be home! What can you do?
Normalize homesickness
At Christmas, everyone around you feels homesick. Accept it. It’s normal and okay to feel homesick. It means you're connected and loved. It means you have an anchor point called “home.” It may not be perfect but it’s your “feel good” place. It’s good to have a home to miss.
And since everyone is feeling the same, why not talk about home? Share Christmas memories and family traditions, and what you miss the most. Crazy stories and good laughs minimize homesickness. Then have someone read the story of Jesus' birth. (St. Luke 2:1-20)
Be content
Learn to be content with homesickness. Being “content” doesn’t have to mean you must be “jump-up-and-down happy.” It means life’s okay. You can carry on well in spite of it. (True happiness and peace comes from knowing Jesus Christ as Savior and Friend.)
It’s a choice
Homesickness is a feeling of the loss of connection with loved ones. But it is temporary. It lasts as long as you want it to. Think of homesickness like a table. You can either cower in the shadows under it, or you can sit in the light on top of it. It’s your choice.
Two families
Of course you miss your family. But you also have a “ship” family. Very few people experience the family bond between seafarers on a ship. Like home, seafarers care about each other and share common experiences. Like family, they’re stuck with everyone, so they learn to get along with each other. Ship life is your life for now! Enjoy life!
Stay engaged with life
Not busy ... engaged. Homesickness is in the mind. Busy-ness doesn’t distract your mind from homesickness. Exercising, participating in activities and conversations does. They pull your thoughts out of your little world of self, and connects you with your better self, and the people and life around you.
AM-PM
Your worst times for homesickness are when you wake up and after work.
Get up. Read your Bible. Pray. Get going. Crash on your bunk at night. And as you drift off to sleep, pray, “Thank you, Father, for another good day. Take care of my family … and….zzzzzzzzzzzzz.”
Finally, learn to like yourself
Homesickness is about being disconnected from people who care about you. Like yourself. Become your own best friend, faults and all! People who like themselves never lack for a best friend.
Purpose of being a seafarer
And remember WHY you’re out there when everyone else is home. Most of you are taking care of your family in an honorable profession. This is a great expression of love. Maybe to the world you’re just a seafarer. But to your family, you’re a lifeline and a hero.
Homesickness is tough but it’s temporary, so ride through it. A little homesickness is a good thing. It means you’re loved.
Yes, it’s OK. We should always feel a little homesick.
Take care, be safe. Merry Christmas. Remember why we celebrate this day…we celebrate the coming of the Savior to redeem the world from sin. That’s something to celebrate!!!
Here’s hope: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:3
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